8 - 6 - 1

 What does 8-6-1 mean?

Maybe, it represents the area code for the greater Kansas City area. After all, I have three friends living with ALS from that area. As much as I love Angela Harness Cline, Scott “FlexonALS" Smith, and Sarah “FightLikeaGirl” Nauser, I am not referring to Kansas City.

Although, I am becoming a closet Kansas University basketball, Kansas City Royals, and the Kansas City Chiefs fan because my feeds are usually filled with sports highlights. Do NOT tell Scott or Sarah. Haha.

8-6-1 represents three anniversaries in my life. Three anniversaries felt like an eternity but flew by like a comet streaking through the midnight sky.

The first anniversary represents eight years since my first symptoms of ALS.

The week of August 1-7, 2014, a young couple set off on a Caribbean Cruise. The young man was months away from turning 29 and wanted to treat his girlfriend to some fun in the sun. We set sail from Miami, Florida, destined for the Bahamas, St. Thomas, and St. Croix.

The couple had been living the high life on the all-inclusive cruise, and you might even go as far as to say; they overindulged. After calling it an early evening, the young man noticed a flicker in his right shoulder. The young man pointed the twitch out to his girlfriend; it was faint but persistent. The couple laughed it off as a result of an old football injury.

If they only knew the gravity of what that faint twitch set into motion for their lives in the future. In fact, at that very moment, their lives had changed forever. That moment began a 3-year search for what was a life-changing diagnosis of a terminal disease called ALS.

During that stressful time, someone told me that my wind was off. My inner chakra had been disturbed by the ocean winds. I do not necessarily believe in that, but it was a windy SOB on the boat, and with my big ears as sails, my wind was probably in Tijuana by day one.

It is hard to believe that Erika and I had only been dating for eight months at the time of my first symptom. Young love with our entire lives ahead of us. Unfortunately for Erika, the precursor to my ALS journey, earlier in 2014, I had severe Tonsillitis the day I asked her out. I have been sick our entire relationship.

I am sorry, Erika. Thank you for standing by me these past eight years since my first symptom.


The second anniversary on 8-6-1 is our 6th wedding anniversary. We said I do August 20, 2016; it was a beautiful sunny day in Morgantown, West Virginia. We exchanged vows at Suncrest United Methodist Church. We had the privilege of having our Pastor, Junius Lewis, and my Father, Holt Poling, officiate the service. It was a beautiful wedding. It was an even better wedding reception at Cheat Lake Resort.

The past six years of marriage have been stressful, filled with worry, fear of the unknown, many sleepless nights, but most importantly, love. We forged a path through the flames of adversity, purchased our first home as a couple, and welcomed two beautiful sons into the world. The years have been a blessing, despite my looming health issues.

Erika has not had the opportunity to be just a wife and mother. Unfortunately, she has had to use her medical skills at home. Her days consist of administering infusions, tube feedings, appointments, care coordinating, nursing, and caregiving. Plus, working a full-time job and raising two children alone.

We have not had the luxury of a picturesque marriage with a honeymoon phase lasting years. Due to my terminal illness, ALS, we have had to adapt to my constantly declining health. Our love has been forged in the ashes of a dream life. You see, when we were married, my ALS symptoms were mild. My right hand was weak and clumsy. My left thumb was stiff but manageable. I was starting to experience cramps in my esophagus, which often led to server irritation resulting in throwing up.

Almost a year into our marriage, I was officially diagnosed with ALS. Despite my slow progression, my health declined. Over the next five years, I would have three life-extending surgeries, port, feeding tube, and tracheostomy. I would eventually become a non-verbal quadriplegic. The thing with living with ALS is just when you adjust to your current condition, ALS upheavals your world as you knew it. Thus, leading towards my third anniversary.


The third and final anniversary on 8-6-1 represents the hardest year of my life, respectively. One represents the first anniversary of my tracheostomy. On August 9, 2021, I made the most difficult decision of my life. I chose to extend my life through an invasive surgery which left me tethered to a mechanical ventilator. This decision was difficult as this meant I would need 24/7 specialized care.

Only 10% of people living with ALS proceed with having a tracheostomy. The average cost of living with ALS is expensive. Private in-home care is not covered by most insurance providers. The yearly cost of living with ALS on a ventilator can cost up to $100,000.00 a year.

The surgery itself is straightforward. The hard part is after surgery. Your body detects a foreign body where it should not be. The body's defense is to send secretions (mucus) to the area and attempt to push the foreign body out. Trust me; it is much worse than it sounds. This process can take mere weeks, up to six plus months.

I drooled like a dog for five straight months. I had to resort to using my boys' burp clothes as drool rags. I have battled with depression and suicidal thoughts. I have wanted to quit more times than I could count. The mental roller-coaster over the past year has been a constant battle. The difficulty has not been physical. It has been the mental gauntlet between finding a new purpose and managing the mental strain of feeling like a burden.

When you rely on an eye gaze communication device to speak, plus trapped inside a dying body, it is easy to slip into a self-pity mindset. The past year has been a living hell, not just for me but for everyone in my life. Friends, family, and caregivers have had to adjust to this new life. The decision to extend my life has affected Erika the most. I took a difficult life, and I made it exponentially more difficult.

Fortunately, I have an angel on my side, my beautiful wife, Erika. We continue to make the impossible possible. The days are busy. We continue to struggle through the unknown and continually learn and grow. The strength, love, and hope for our children push us to see that we make the best of the life that we have left.

To me, the anniversaries represented by 8-6-1 are anniversaries that I did not think I would see. Every anniversary represents a personal achievement and achievement for my family. The bittersweet part is that every anniversary has come at the cost of everything I have lost to continue this journey.

Eight years since my first ALS symptom is UNCOMMON but PLAUSIBLE.
Six years since we said I do might not be DECADES to you, but it is an ETERNITY to us.
One year since my tracheostomy has been astronomically DIFFICULT, but it is POSSIBLE.

Here are too many more anniversaries to come. #EndALS